Don't worry, I've been sharing - a little!
My two daughters and oldest son are part of a drama troupe and are preparing for a production this Spring. They have rehearsals twice a week. Tuesday night, during practice, as part of an exercise, the director asked the students to name one thing that they wanted and the reason why. When my son's turn came, he answered that he wanted our adoption referral to come so we could bring our babies home from Ethiopia. A discussion then ensued amongst the other students AND the drama director about how crazy it is to have a big family, during which time my son sat in stunned silent disbelief. The director himself said several times how he just didn't understand why people want large families, having to spread their resources thin, blah, blah, blah. My daughter said, "I'd rather have more kids than more stuff." (Yay for her!) But she didn't feel like anyone actually heard her. Then the question moved on to the next person and rehearsal proceeded as usual.
After rehearsal, we talked about it. We attributed the attitudes of the students to (mostly)youthful ignorance. To be honest, I was stunned that the director, the adult in charge, had been at the center of the discussion. Now, I believe that family size is a very personal, private choice for each family. And I undestand that there are some that don't agree with our choice to have a large family and no doubt our choice to adopt from Ethiopia. But his lack of discretion and boldness to speak his mind, IN FRONT OF MY KIDS (who are 9, 11, &14), surprised me. I know he wasn't directing his opinion at my children and there was no malice involved. Frankly, I'm OK that he feels this way. I'm still just shocked that he thought "out loud" in the presence of my children and their friends. And I felt badly that my son had shared his heart and had received such a cold reception. We explained to my son, that Mr. N. just doesn''t understand the joy of having a large family and that as an adult, he should have kept his feelings to himself in this situation.
This isn't the first time that I have been confronted with disapproval for having a big family but it was a first for my children to have their family criticized in such a direct way. While it was hard, it was a good chance to talk about the types of questions, albeit rude and nosy, that we will be faced with when our babies come home from Ethiopia. We need to have a plan and some appropriate answers because we will be faced with tough questions.
Whatever the questions and how we choose to answer them, we've found this to be true:
Love Thursday & Love Is All Around.